Psychologists have studied the states of mind that tend to make us more successful, whatever the challenge. There are at least two we can adopt: “action orientation” and “state orientation.”[3] Adopting an action orientation means focusing on the task ahead with no thought to your current emotional or physical state. A state orientation means you’re thinking principally about yourself: how prepared you feel in that moment, the worry you feel over a text left unanswered, the light prickling at the back of your throat, that crick blossoming in your neck. Adopting an action orientation, it turns out, makes it much more likely that you accomplish the task. Shi, Rui, et al., “Individual Difference in Goal Motives and Goal Content: The Role of Action and State Orientation,” Journal of Pacific Rim Psychology 12 (2018): 20, www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/AB5F6366258C5C3348FF4DE46984141F/S1834490918000089a.pdf/div-class-title-individual-difference-in-goal-motives-and-goal-content-the-role-of-action-and-state-orientation-div.pdf. Abigail Shrier. Abigail Shrier - Bad Therapy _ Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up-Penguin Publishing Group (2024) (pp. 46-47). Kindle Edition.
If we wanted to help kids with emotional regulation, I asked Kennair, what would we communicate instead? “I think I’d say: worry less. Ruminate less,” Kennair said. “Try to verbalize everything you feel less. Try to self-monitor and be mindful of everything you do—less.” But there’s another problem posed by emotions check-ins: They tend to induce a state orientation in kids, potentially sabotaging kids’ abilities to complete the tasks in front of them at school.[6] “If you want to, let’s say, climb a mountain, if you start asking yourself after two steps, ‘How do I feel?,’ you’ll stay at the bottom,” Linden said. Many psychological studies back this up.[7] An individual is more likely to complete a difficult task if she adopts a task orientation—a focus on the job ahead. If she’s thinking about herself, she’s less likely to complete it. We were only at the very beginning of the school day, and already things were looking grim. But I resolved to give these mental health experts a chance. After all, they were only trying to help. Abigail Shrier. Abigail Shrier - Bad Therapy _ Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up-Penguin Publishing Group (2024) (p. 72). Kindle Edition.
