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Boy Crisis - Gender Empathy Gap

💔 Gender Empathy Gap

Why male suffering gets less sympathy.

Gender Empathy Gap

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  1. Men are made to die
    1. When our very survival is dependent on our sons’ willingness to die, sensitivity to the death and suffering of boys and men is in competition with our survival instinct.
    2. To win wars, we had to train our sons to be disposable. We honored boys if they died so we could live. We called them heroes.
    3. Gender empathy gap
      1. But while this gender empathy gap is part of what enables our blindness to the boy crisis, we have been blind to that sexism throughout human history, and there has not previously been a boy crisis.
  2. There are few professional and corporate conferences focused on boys’ and men’s issues. There is no White House Council on Men and Boys, and no federal offices of boys or men’s health.
  3. Professional bias
    1. A 2016 study of social workers documented a key obstacle to custody that dads encounter worldwide: “Social workers tend to consider the children’s wishes as long as their preference is for maternal custody. When children express a paternal preference, their wishes carry no weight.”
  4. Deadbeat Dad Image
    2. 70 percent oI child support debt is owed by parents with incomes oI less than $10,000 per year (parents almost always means “dads”). 7 Many of these dads are then imprisoned because of owed child support, deepening their arrears and undermining their ability, when they do get out, to hold a job and pay child support!
    3. Three-quarters oI dads who were in South Carolina Mails for being behind in child support payments suffer from extreme poverty. And one-eighth oI all South Carolina inmates are in Mail for being behind in child support payments.
  5. Media
    1. 2016 Super Bowl Doritos Ad
    2. 2013 Clorox ad
    3. Domestic Violence ads
    4. Toxic Masculinity
    5. “Future is Female”
    6. “Boys are Stupid” book
    7. Men vs Women Communication Styles
      1. HR - HER Resources
  6. Success Object (Steps)
    8. Women that want successful men
    9. Lack of social skills due to success focus
    10. Divorce woman happy with money, say guy was a jerk because he lacks social skills
  7. Success-Love Conflict
    1. Self-Listening: Inner convos solve problems and planning
    2. Terrible for love, wants to be listened to — not solutions. Have to figure out their own solutions.
  8. People don’t care to hear when men share their emotions causing men to internalize these emotions and difficulties

    Of Boys and Men _ Why the Modern Male Is S - Reeves, Richard copy, p.14 (file not included in this release)

    role of family provider has been hollowed out. The male malaise is not the result of a mass psychological breakdown, but of deep structural challenges.