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MasterClass - The Art of a Negotiation

Chris Voss

Tactical Empathy

  • How they see it
  • Not agreement, not compassion, not sympathy
  • Not the truth; not the reality; just THEIR reality
  • Emotional Intelligence

Mirroring

  • Engage the other on their thoughts
  • Letting the other side have your way
  • Mirror to Gather Information
    • Repetition of one to three of the others words
    • Shows your paying attention and actually listening
    • When used in a question; people will expand on their thoughts
  • Mirror to build Rapport
    • “Interesting people are interested”
    • Take three words and repeat it back as a question:
      • “Really loving this yoga retreat, I’m eating really health.”
      • “Oh you’re eating really healthy?”
    • Genuine curiosity; not judgemental
    Attachment (file not included in this release)
  • Mirror Confrontation People
    • Repeat back
      • “YOUR PRICE IS TOO HIGH!?!?”
      • “My price is too high?”
        • Curious voice, downward intonation
      • Repeat and mirror a few times
      • They will eventually give more context and think you’re working with them to fix it
      • Turns into a collaboration
  • Silence is Golden
    • Critical; make sure you go silent
  • Keep Mirroring
    • If it feels awkward, its an indictor of learning

Labeling

  • Verbal observations
  • Might be most important skill
  • Label It!
    1. Be aware of emotion of other side
    2. Label it!
      1. “It seems like”
      2. “It sounds like”
      3. “It feels like”
    3. Shut up; stop talking
    • Triggers their contemplation in their head
    • Trust based influence
  • How NOT to Label
    • “What I’m hearing is…”
    • Don’t explain a label
    • Talking after the label
  • Label more than once
    • Probably need more than one, especially if its negative
    • Lack of response is a good sign you’re on the right track; keep labeling
      • “Sounds like I haven’t gone far enough”
      • “Sounds like theres more there that meets the eye”
      • “Sounds like there feelings about this I have quite touched yet”
  • Reinforce Positive Emotions
    • “It feels like you’re being really generous with me right now”
      • When the person thinks you should be happy that you’re getting their time
  • Mirroring and Labeling in Tandem
    • Mirror mirror mirror → Label → Mirror
    • Mirrors will tease out what to Label
    • Mirror their response to a label to get more information
    • Example: Attachment (file not included in this release)
      • “Sounds like this deal is making you upset”
      • “Well its not making me upset, what its really is is we got some really implementation problems here on the other side as we’ve had trouble with this in the past.”
      • “Trouble in the past?”
      • etc..

Mastering Delivery

  • Voice alone can be an art
  • You can say the perfect words; but in a way the conveys the other person is stupid or you say them like a robot, it’ll fail
  • Smile when talk to people; changes your voice
  • DJ Voice: Deep and slow
  • Ditch the “Assertive” Voice
    • Direct
    • Don’t use it
    • Anger is bad for relationships
  • Use the “playful” voice
    • Fun, joyful
    • Straight shooter, but worried how it’ll land
    • 80% of the time
    • Keep positive
  • Use the “Analyst” Voice
    • Downward intonation
    • Great for immovable issues you can’t move on
    • Actions need to reflect that it is immovable
    • Rare to use; feels cold
  • Use the “Late-Night FM DJ Voice”
    • Warmth
    • Downward intonation
    • 10-20% of time
    • Other side is upset; anxious
    • Real estate transaction; commission driven businesses
  • Inflections
    • Upward; Question
      • Helps words land
      • Conveys deference
    • Downward; Declaring a fact
  • Digital Communication
    • Don’t overly on only one
    • Spread it out over different types of communications
    • Don’t put all your moves in one email for instance
    • Need to make emails positive, as it’ll be read with a negative assumption

Body Language & Speech Patterns

  • Pay attention to their reactions to what you say
  • Does their delivery and body language line up with the content of their words?
  • Watch the Sidelines
    • Watch the people on the sidelines body language
    • They’ll be unguarded; honest with their body langauge
  • Identify Baselines and Spot Deviations
    • One way to tell truth
    • Many ways to lie
    • Find the truth baseline
    • Listen to your gut
  • How to Respond to a Lie
    • “Well, I heard you say you’re ok with the deal, but it seems like theres something bothering you, something more than meets the eye?”
    • Not accusatory
    • Tone of voice is collaborative, interested, curious
    • Show them you’re aware of their respective and you don’t have a problem with it; worthy of them being unguarded

Creating the Illusion of Control

  • Calibrated Questions
  • Ask “How” and “What” Questions
    • Why triggers defensiveness
    • Feel in charge
    • Change why’s to whats
      • “What makes it necessary to..” etc.
  • Ask Questions to Force Empathy
    • You want empathy in return
    • “How am I supposed to do that?”
  • Use Calibrated Questions to Shape Thinking
    • Combine how and what questions
    • Ask 3 questions so they think about it three different way
      • “How am I supposed to do that?”
      • “What is going to happen if I do that?”
      • “How do I overcome the challenges I have here?”
  • Avoid Triggering Reciprocity
    • Careful triggering it because you’ll owe them something
    • People are sensitive to it
    • If you ask, you have to willing to give in exchange
    • How questions instead
  • Ask Legitimate Questions
    • “How are we going to move forward if we make this deal?”
    • “How have you worked with people like me in the past?”
    • “How have you done this deal in the past?”

The Accusations Audit

  • Taking a step back and inventory of possible negatives
  • Approach to get out in front of them and trigger a working collaborative relationship from the very beginning
  • Framing an Accusations Audit
    • Longer Relationships
      • Straight Label
        • “Seems like you’re not getting all the information out of us you want”
    • Newer Relationship
      • Tentative; little more speculative
        • “You’re probably asking yourself why you’re taking this meeting?”
        • “Probably feels like that I’m like everybody else in this line and work and there’s not a difference between me and anybody else”
        • “May feel like you the people on your side of the table feels like your getting pushed around”
      • Conveying attentiveness and careful about it; straight shooter
      • Taking responsibility to how statements land
  • Getting Ahead of Negatives
    • “I’m going to make your day ridiculously difficult” (or similar)
      • This statement and others like it will bring to mind terrible things, horrible situations—yet what you’re really asking for is something minor and they are glad to give it to you.
  • Be Exhaustive and Fearless
    • If you aren’t layering it on thick, it ain’t thick enough
    • Rare you will overdue it
    • Test it: Read the other sides reactions
    • “You’re being too hard on yourself” is what you want; forced empathy

The Value of “No”

  • Confirmation yes without a how will fail
  • “How should we proceed?”
  • “How would you like to proceed?”
  • Use “No” To Get An Answer
    • “Are you against committing to three tickets now? Is it a ridiculous idea to pay for the tickets today?”
  • “Is that a ridiculous idea?”

Bending Reality

  • Loss Aversion; distorts perception
  • Find out what their going to lose if they don’t or do make the deal
  • Never rational
  • Everything can me framed as a gain or loss Attachment (file not included in this release)
  • Appeal to their Sense of Fairness
    • Ultimatum Game: People will destroy deals if they feel its unfair.
    • People will take a bad deal if they think they were treated fair
    • Responding to the F(air) Bomb
      • Show me how I was unfair
    • How to Use it Early Attachment (file not included in this release)
  • Deadlines are Meaningless
    • Most times they are just motivation for progress; not hard deadlines
    • Responding to Deadlines
      • Labels
        • “Seems like you under pressure here”
        • “Seems like this is an involved process”
        • “Seems like this the world is coming to end if we don’t meet that deadline”
      • Calibrated Questions
        • “What happens if we dont get this done in time”
        • “How do we get back on track if we fall back on schedule?”
        • “How do we pull victory from the ashes of defeat if we don’t meet the deadline?”
    • The Last Impression
      • Feeling attacked
        • The words that you want to say, that’ll feel good; is probably the wrong ones
        • Make the last words positive
          • “Were here because we want to have a long term relationship”
          • “Were here because we want our partners to be profitable”
          • Last impression will be a lasting impression

Bargaining

  • The Ackerman System Attachment (file not included in this release)
  • Pivot to Non-Monetary Terms
    • Don’t go first and go high
    • You want to know where the other person is coming from; more information the better
    • If someone is pushing you to go first; pivot to terms
      • “Alright so Id be happy to give you a number, but lets put that aside for a minute, and talk about what it’ll take to make a great deal, what you’ll have to have for a great deal.”
      • Prepare list before hand
    • Price will break the deal; but the deal is made on the terms
  • Provide a Range
    • Their going to pick the lowest of the range
  • Anchor Emotions, Not Dollars
    • Don’t extreme anchor; create negative emotions
    • Pre-empt saying “my number is high, don’t expect, probably more you plan or pay or even have” — so they are relieved to hear it and won’t be mad about it.

Black Swans

  • Open Yourself to the Unknown
  • Be curious
  • Don’t be afraid of being surprised; welcome it

Attachment (file not included in this release)

Attachment (file not included in this release)

TACTICS

  • Mirroring
  • Labeling
  • Calibrated Questions
  • Accusations Audit
  • Voice
  • “No” Questions